tenways

After more than five years of living on a narrowboat and travelling most of the major canals in the system, I think it’s time to pontificate.

I want to pass on pearls of wisdom that have come down to me from even more experienced hands or that I have gleaned for myself from watching the antics of boaters for whom cruising courtesy is a forgotten art. The ten snippets of advice offered below are not solely intended for holiday hire-boat users (though they may fill a gap that is now left by hiring companies) but are aimed as much at long-experienced boaters and live-aboards like me. Most of us were hirers once and there’s still a bit of the hirer submerged deep in the subconscious. I hope all readers will find something useful in these 10 paragraphs. They could make life on the Cut more enjoyable — and certainly more fascinating.

1. Remember, BW signs asking you to slow down past interminable lines of moored boats are merely friendly requests. If you cannot bring yourself to cut back on the revs console yourself with the thought: ”It’s their own fault. They should have been tied up more securely.”

2. The rare, extremely wide places on narrow canals (known to the cognoscenti as “winding holes”) are especially useful. If there are no signs to the contrary they can be used for mooring by nervous owners who don’t want their boats scraped and bumped by passers-by. Water points can also be used if it’s getting late and you’re afraid you won’t find another suitable place before dark.

3. Oh yes, no holiday hire craft should pass a water point without stopping to top up the tank. You may never find another.

4. Parents with children under 14 years of age who hire or own their own boat, especially if it’s 60 foot or longer, should spend as much time as they can in the cockpit drinking chilled white wine. They should leave the handling of the boat to the youngsters. This allows the grownups to plead shocked innocence if their boat should side-swipe yours.

5. Anglers are one of the more interesting features of the canals and usually brighten up a long cruise with their friendly banter. Never pass an angler without a cheery good morning, even when he seems extraordinarily intent on making sure that his maggot is correctly positioned on the hook.

6. Approaching a double width lock that must be shared with a fibre glass or plastic cruiser, narrowboat owners should always insist that the cruiser goes first, reassuring the owner that you’ll “tuck alongside somehow.” Don’t worry about his pale complexion — cruiser drivers don’t get the benefit of sun and wind that narrowboat skippers enjoy.

7. If you see that there’s another narrowboat ahead of you at a single lock and the crew looks experienced, stay well back. Resist any impulse to walk up to the lock and open a gate, for example. Old boating hands would feel insulted at any suggestion that they can’t manage on their own. Should someone ask for help make sure you get to lift the gate paddle first. It can be very satisfying to know that you are speeding up the boat’s passage.

8. The normal speed limit of four miles an hour on the canal system, by the way, can easily be reached or exceeded if your boat is travelling alone. If, however, you are in front of another boat or better still a convoy, it is courteous to cut your speed by a half so it, or they, are not disturbed by your wash. Don’t let the others get past you though - however insistent they seem to be - or you’ll be swept along in their wake.

9. And (this is for experienced owners only) when you are lucky enough to cruise through large expanses of water like Tixall Wide you are allowed to drive at breakneck speed if it looks as though a more timid driver or a holiday hirer might get to a lock before you.

10. Live-aboards have their own code of conduct, of course, but one useful bit of advice is never run your engine or a loud generator after 11pm or midnight. The sudden silence when you switch off could wake up boaters around you who have just got off to sleep after a couple of hours of exasperated tossing and turning. Again, BW's guideline of never before 8am and never after 8pm is just that - a guideline.

11. Finally, listen to advice from experts, especially if they are self-appointed. They will advise you on whether British Waterways prefer you to run engines out of gear or in gear while you are moored. They will point out any mistakes in your handling of your boat and remind you of the normal courtesies of cruising. They can be seen waiting at the tops of double locks for up to two or three hours to ensure that the best use is made of water and then complain that it took you so long to get there. And they’ll appear out of nowhere if you are moored in a quiet country spot to advise you that it’s better to brush paint downwards rather than from side to side - and anyway you should have used a roller in the first place.

On second thoughts, you could well forget number 11 and still enjoy a happy and fulfilling life on the Cut - and it would conveniently reduce the number of points to the 10 promised originally.

In fact, the more I think about it, you could ignore each and every one of the other ten, for except for a few well-meaning admonitions in BW pamphlets, few boating rules are written in stone. Given a little experience you could write your own guidelines that should be rigidly followed by others to make your own life easier. Most of us do already!

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Since posting the above I have received the following excellent additions from David Owen-Roberts. If there are any others of merit lurking out there please let me know!

12: If you see a boat moored up in a beautiful, peaceful, isolated spot, the boaters are probably feeling lonely and so will appreciate your mooring up next to them - as close as possible - especially if you can relieve the silence by running your engine for a few hours to top up your batteries.

13: If you are about to leave a lock and there is a boat in the channel waiting to go in, make you exit as slowly as possible. This gives the other boater an opportunity to display his skill at holding the boat off the sides. Also, if you can persuade your crew to start closing the gate you will add a little frisson to the proceedings and get a cheerful wave from the waiting boat.